im in a really bad spot. i fell in love with a girl that never felt anything for me. how do i get past it?
i know that this is a long story, but im worse off than ever. im almost 21 years old, and ive never been in any kind of relationship, not physical nor emotional. kinda sad, i know. i fell in love with a girl named katie. shes almost 19 and she has the most beautful face i have ever seen. i met her 6 or 7 months ago when she was living with my cousin andrea. we became friends pretty quickly, we had alot in common and we both liked getting stoned. ( i dont do that any more for what its worth) i knew from the moment i laid eyes on her that i would never meet some one that perfect again, or so i thought. even though we were just friends, we had so much in common and i always wanted something more. but i never knew how to tell her, i dont have any experience in this field. i thought about her more and more and it got to the point that no other female even existed. i knew in the begining that she didnt feel anything for me. but i was more than willing to take the time and effort to show her i was worth the chance. after she moved out of my cousin andrea’s house she started calling me everynight at like midnight. we would talk for hours, but it was never long enough. i honestly thought she was taking an interest in me and i had never been happier. this went on for a couple of weeks. finally she calls me at like 12 or 1 am and she wanted me to come over to her apartment. ofcourse i came over there. when i got there she was kind of drunk, but i got the feeling like she wanted me to make a move. i didnt, but she kept getting phone calls and texts. so the moment was never right. we went to this gas station and by chance she ran in to her old high school buddy brandon. she told him to come by and he eventually showed up and inturupted us. i eventually left and he stayed. dont know if anything happened with them. but after that night she continued to call me, but less and less. and she would never have me back over again. the times i tried she made up crap excuses to keep me away. but i could hear his voice in the background. she told me the phone she borrowed from her mom got taken back. and i had no way to call her. (this turned out to be a lie). after weeks of depression she was all i could think about. i finally decided to write her a letter that told her everything that i didnt know how. i left this letter on her doorstep to find. i hear back from her a couple hours later. she didnt have the decency to atleast call, so she texts me saying that she never felt anything for me and she didnt want to see or hear from me again. how cold is that? a text message. it wasnt untill later that night that my cousin andrea tells me the truth. she was the biggest skank in this town. shes only 19 years old and shes been with several guys. even worse, she continued to sleep with guy after guy the entire time. including my cousin craig. but he was the only quality guy she got with. the rest were these punkass ganster wannabe thugs with nothin goin for them, no kinda men. and she never had a relationship with any of them. just one night stands. she was always a liar. she had nothing worth loving , i see this now. she dropped out of high school. arrested for shoplifting ( more than once). she was on probation and drug court, but refused to stop taking pills and drinking. i didnt judge her for smoking pot, i did for years. but she is ruiining her life and if she continues this path she’ll wind up dead, in jail, hooked on drugs, stuck with an STD, or raising some kid not knowing who the father is. that prospect hurts the worst because she is so beautiful and could have any guy she wanted, but she doesnt want to give herself the life she deserves. now i know who she really is, the girl i fell in love with never really existed. she was an illusion that i created in my head because i didnt want to see the real her. i only wanted to see her beauty, which i now see is only skin deep. i sent her one last message that told her what i think of her now. that she was a drugged out skank that didnt love her self. she was a lying, using sociopath and that she deserves a better life. one that i would have givin her but i never would now. i told her so much more. horrible, hurtful, hating things that i feel terrible for saying. but it was justified to a degree. and here i am now. heartbroken and lost. but as much anger and animosity as i have, i cant stop thinking about her. no one can fall out of love over night. i can hardly sleep, i threw up in the drive way at 2 am last night just thinking about her. as much as i hate to admit it, i am still in love with her. i know that it will never happen with us, nor would i want it to. but i see her face everytime i try to sleep and her face is still there when i wake up. i had a dream that i told her the things i messaged her and that i hate her and hope she dies. and she wound up in the hospital dying, and i gave her my kidney so that she could live. that alone says i still feel for her. im a decent loo
Tagged with: 7 months • andrea • apartment • begining • cousin • crap • Drunk • Face • gas station • just friends • Love • Love Girl • Met • old high school • phone calls • relationship • Sad • school buddy • texts
Filed under: Passing Kidney Stones
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too long, i refuse to read, but in response to your initial question, welcome to life
tell her how you feel usually that will lessen your load
thats a lot to read man… the most common term is the truest, more fish in the sea. all you have to do is meet someone on a common basis and get into a mutual conversation and get to know them.. then you begin to think about them more and more… thats how you got in the situation in the first place.. which only proves that it can happen again, but the next time it happens you will be able to tell if you are actually connecting with someone or not because of your past experience. then you will really know love, when someone feels the same way you do and there are no secrests… blah blah blah…. move on is the point of all this
it helps when you listen to a song that goes with the memory, its kinda therapeutic and it helps you move on from Scene I.
give this song a listen..if you havent heard of it.
Three Days Grace – I Hate Everything About You
there’s plenty of other girls out there that you have to find. you deserve someone that loves themselves and loves you too. as for the healing process, just keep yourself busy and little by little you’ll start to think of her less.
Man, when I read this I started crying. I went through almost the same thing except she was in love with someone else. But I felt the same way and had those kind of dreams about her. Took me about two year to get over her. You know what helps, ‘outta sight, outta mind’. If you don’t see her, you will forget her. Just avoid seeing her at all cost, it’ll take months maybe a 1 or 2 year to forget. But you’ll find someone even more beautiful and this time she won’t let you go.
Hey man I know how you feel. I was with a girl for 3 years, asked her to marry me and she accepted. After a year of being engaged, she just suddenly one day said she felt differently and broke up with me. I was devastated, to the point where I had to start taking anti-depressants. As far as I was concerned, my life was over. It took over a year and a half before I got over her. As you are going through it, it seems as though it will never end but believe me it does. As hard as it is, you just got to hang in there, nothing but time will heal it. Want some really good advice? It might be extremely difficult but if you want to get over her, you have to COMPLETELY cut her out of your life.
Did you like that vent? cause i liked that story! i can empathize with you greatly, i’m glad to know that you know she is not the right person to fall in love with, perhaps you were only deepy in love with her looks? I feel bad that your cousin didn’t tell you sooner, i wish the best of luck to you! like you said, you can’t get over it in one night. it’ll take time, your only human.