Should I tell my friend I think she may have killed her cat?

My friend has 2 cats. One of them grew horribly ill a few days ago, vomiting & hiding & not letting them touch him. The other is still healthy, but obese.

They took the sick one to the vet & are now 00+ in debt for his treatment of kidney/liver failure.
I can’t know what caused this health problem, but they never leave water out for their cats. The cats only have toilet water to drink out of, and the litter box only gets cleaned out every month or so.

I feel bad because she’s now mourning the loss of a dear family member, and in debt because of his illness. I don’t want to add an unnessecary sense of guilt to her grief, but they still have another cat… and still not putting out fresh water or cleaning the litter box regularly.
I’m torn between my concern for my friend’s mental health (she has been prone to depression) and my concern for the health of her other cat.
Do I tell her now?
Do I wait to talk to her about my feelings regarding her animal care?
Do I keep my mouth shut?

  1. ritefielder14, 21 May, 2010

    You should tell her so this doesn’t happen again.
    You should tell her your feelings about it, and explain why you care.
    You should not keep your mouth shut.

  2. meagan b, 21 May, 2010

    i think you should tell her. mourning or not, she may do the same to the other cat and then it will twice as bad. being a good friend means telling her even if its something she doesnt want to hear. Not for nothing, but if the other cat does pass away, then you wont have the guilt of knowing you shouldve said something because atleast you tried.
    if you wanted to do it this way, you could always call the ASPCA and when they go to investigate They can talk to her. hope this helps. good luck .

  3. Mickey, 21 May, 2010

    Unless your friend is Paris Hilton, I don’t know why this is in "Current Events" under the new section. I think I would just keep your mouth shut about the whole thing. They are her cats, not yours. If you are extremely concerned about her lack of care, call the APL (Annimal Protective League) in your area.

  4. clairvoyant_dreamer, 21 May, 2010

    If at all possible, why not offer to take the other cat for a while, until the strongest part of your friend’s grief passes? Take care of it as you wish your friend would, and when it’s time to return it, share your feeling about her animal care. You can’t keep quiet no matter what, but now is probably not the best time to bring it up.

  5. sm_ie2, 21 May, 2010

    knowledge is power share it!!

  6. lucysmom, 21 May, 2010

    For me, I consider animal abuse the same as child or elderly abuse, don’t hold back, tell your friend that the cat needs fresh water and a clean litter box. If she can’t properly care for her cat by all means give it to someone who will. DO NOT KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!!! If she is truly your friend she will understand your concern for her and her cat. Would you just sit back and say nothing if it were a child? Good luck to you. Now do the right thing.

  7. elmjunburke, 21 May, 2010

    " Friend, I think that you may have killed your cat ".

  8. lizjess2000, 21 May, 2010

    tell her, animals need 2 be looked after proper

  9. micahcf, 21 May, 2010

    Yes you tell her. The work is to find out the best way to tell her. You know her personality, so really try to tailor your words perfectly.

    Maybe letting her know you commiserate with her and care for her first. Then giving her a bowl that you hand decorated. Then maybe giving her some literature that you downloaded on how to care for your feline friends.

    It sounds like she could be a better pet owner, but she could also be worse. Making sure that she knows that you care about her feelings first.

  10. Cheyenne, 21 May, 2010

    I would just tell my friend I read how important it is for pets to have clean fresh water everyday and how litter boxes should be cleaned regularly or otherwise pets can get very sick. You don’t know 100% for sure why her cat died. Don’t make your talk with her as a personal indictment of why her cat died.

  11. 2jaxx, 21 May, 2010

    Your friend needs psychological help and the cat needs to go to a no-kill shelter( or maybe you or another friend can take the cat). Your friend obviously can’t care for herself much less an animal. Rescue both of them.

  12. abenezer s, 21 May, 2010

    buy her a water bowl for her cat, maybe she gets the message.

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